My Personal Style Journey
If you told postpartum me that in a decade I’d be running my own personal styling business, I’d think you were the sleep-deprived one, not me. Yet here I am, almost 11 years later and I’m doing just that.
Those early postpartum days were so hard. Challenges with breastfeeding and all of the guilt that comes along with it, a marked change in my day-to-day life and making sense of it and let’s not forget, feeling like something was falling out of me between my legs (don’t worry, it was just my pesky uterus which I documented here if you’re curious). And while it was hard, it was breathtakingly sweet and beautiful. My husband and I had brought a perfect baby girl (by way of a shockingly easy birth, I might add) into the world.
Still, I was worried about so many things, the least of which was my style (or lack thereof). But as the days passed and I found my new rhythms, I realized my style was chaotic. I wanted to cover everything, evidenced by my untucked, often tunic-length shirts and Bermuda shorts on my 5’3” frame. Postpartum rivaled puberty in terms of how awkward I felt, particularly about my style.
As a young adult, I went through many phases with my style. <Insert major, audible cringe here> In junior high school, I was super girly but then I made a complete 180 and skewed borderline goth and eventually grunge in high school. Grunge really spoke to me. I had all the flannels and both combat boots and Chuck Taylors. What can I say? I’m Gen-X through and through. My style horizons were slightly broadened in college. I dabbled in the hippie aesthetic but for the most part, stayed true to grunge. After graduating college and getting my first real job, I became a polished corporate ladder-climbing professional. My style became more classic, a little preppy and business casual for work. I was a frequent GAP and LOFT shopper back in those days. I stayed true to that aesthetic until I got pregnant. And then any sense of style I had came to a screeching halt. I had no idea how to dress my growing and changing body. I was not a glowing pregnant woman. Uncomfortable, lost and confused about my style, I pretty much gave up on it during my pregnancy. Early postpartum, “chaotic” is the word that would best describe my sense of style.
It’s taken me years to get comfortable and confident with my personal style. And I’m someone who’s been interested in fashion for as long as I can remember and worked in fashion retail. Even still, finding my style took time. I’ve spent years exploring, evolving and working on myself.
That’s why I understand what you’re going through as a woman who just doesn’t feel like herself anymore in her clothing. I’ve gone through body changes—weight losses and gains, pregnancy, postpartum and now perimenopause. I get it.
I was a child of the 80s and while I can’t remember the first time I heard the word “diet,” I can assure you it was a word I heard a lot growing up. Someone in my life was always on a diet or at a minimum, talking about diets. There were always comments at home about calories and fat and skinny with skinny always being the goal. That’s not to knock my parents, by the way. That mindset and behavior were very common at that time and I think they were trying their best and probably mimicking how they had been raised. Being raised with that mentality absolutely impacted how I felt about my personal style over the years.
It wasn’t until midlife that I really settled into my style and got comfortable with what I like to wear and how I like to look. You know what they say about giving no fucks once you hit a certain point in your life? For me, that was right around 40. My mindset started shifting in my late 30s and by the time I turned 40, I somehow felt more assured of who I was. I wish I could tell you how or why it happened but I tend to think it was just time, which is maybe why so many women get to that point when they hit 40. Like, enough already. Maybe it’s that wisdom they talk about getting with age—maybe I found some wisdom. I had experienced people and places and things after 40 years of being on this planet and every experience I had impacted me more than I realized in the moment.
Fortunately, how I saw things shifted over time. A flip wasn’t switched and I magically understood my style; it took time. I closed the door on the noise, the fashion “rules” and started to embrace what I liked. I cared less about other peoples’ opinions. I regret how much I used to care what other people thought of me over the years, particularly my style. It helped that the world around me was changing and body acceptance, body neutrality and body positivity were becoming more mainstream. Say what you will about social media (because I say it, too) but it was there that I found a lot of inspiring women who confirmed what I already knew but needed to be reminded of when it comes to personal style. It's YOURS.
At 46 years old, I’m very comfortable with my style. That’s not to say I don’t have the occasional day or even a slew of days when I feel ambivalent about my style. Everyone has those days. For the most part, though, I feel good. I have fewer days when I don’t know what to wear than I used to have. Part of that is because I’ve learned what works well on my body and most importantly what I like on my body. The other part is having processes in place when I get dressed and being honest with myself about how I want to feel and how I want to look when I go somewhere.
Personal style is a big deal. It’s about much more than clothes. It’s about how you feel when you present yourself—when you show up in the world—in the clothes.
The journey I’ve been on with my personal style fuels me when I work with clients. I can relate to so many challenges my clients face because I’ve been there myself. And I’m happy to save other women the years it took me to get to where I am.
When I work with my clients, we start by covering exactly this–your personal style. Each of my styling packages begins with style discovery. Instead of experimenting, buying clothes that you don’t really like and spending years trying to figure out why you don’t feel like yourself in your clothes, save yourself the time and money. Let someone who’s been-there-done-that help you. Contact me to book your free discovery call.
