When Did Social Events Become Fashion Emergencies?
“Come comfy. It’s cold and snuggly out.”
This is the kind of text I like to be on the receiving end of when it’s cold and rainy, and it’s exactly the text a friend sent one night recently when our families were getting together for dinner at their house. I already had an idea of what I was going to wear but this made things even simpler for me. (If you’re curious, I chose my comfy but polished SPANX AirEssentials Wide Leg Pants, a colorful striped woven sweater and my silver Vionic penny loafers for a little shine.)
It’s not always this easy, though.
Have you ever found yourself staring at your closet in panic, hours before a casual-ish family or friend get-together? Suddenly, your usual outfits feel all wrong, and you're wondering when dressing for something simple like a birthday party became so complicated.
We’ve all be there. You score tickets to a concert with your girlfriends and now it’s the day of and instead of excitement, you feel a wave of anxiety. What's everyone else wearing? Will you look too dressed up? Not dressed up enough? As you rifle through your closet, nothing feels quite right. You've got a closet full of clothes that work for your everyday life, but somehow, these social events feel like style emergencies waiting to happen, and more often than you care to admit—result in that stress-shopping trip to Target.
Here's the truth: deep down, it's not really about the clothes.
You're really seeking the ability to show up as yourself, to feel comfortable in your own skin while still fitting the occasion. You want to walk into that family gathering, social outing or school event feeling authentically you—not like you're wearing a costume or trying to be someone you're not.
The challenge? Social events come with unwritten dress codes and expectations that seem to change constantly. What worked in your 30s might not feel quite right now. Add in the pressure of social media, where everyone's outfits look perfectly curated, and it's no wonder getting dressed for these occasions feels overwhelming.
But here's where we need a mindset shift. Many women think, "I need to dress a certain way for this event" when the real empowering thought is, "I need to dress like myself for this event." The difference may seem subtle, but it's transformative.
This shift changes everything:
Instead of trying to fit an imaginary dress code, you focus on expressing your personal style within the event's context
Rather than worrying about what everyone else is wearing, you consider what makes you feel comfortable and confident
You stop seeing social events as style emergencies and start viewing them as opportunities to showcase your authentic self
Remember, you've already developed a style that works for your everyday life. The key isn't to create a completely different style for social events—it's to adapt your personal style to different settings while staying true to yourself.
You're a woman with decades of life experience, navigating the rich complexities of midlife. Your style should reflect that journey, not hide it. Whether you're at a kid's birthday party or a concert, you deserve to feel comfortable, authentic and effortlessly dressed without the stress.
Tell me in the comments: what social event causes you the most style anxiety?
